SEO - Is it worth it?

I am rapidly becoming disillusioned by all the hype about SEO.
Everyone is offering you Page 1 on Google. Hey guys, unless that page contains millions of entries we can't all be on there. Or maybe we could get on page one with a single very obscure keyword that no one is ever likely to use but if they did you would be there!
On offer are instant results that take a year to be effective. Overnight success stories that take 2 years to come to fruition.
On offer is an SEO expert who wants £ 500 a month to do SEO work for us. In our business that would mean selling an extra 10 units a month just to pay for the SEO advice. I don't think so!
Others offer you placement on 10 Directory listings a month. Oh come on! Some of those will be so obscure that they are not worth it for the traffic they will generate.
We will soon be placing on one of our websites a fuller story.
In the meantime if you would like to have a go at me for writing such scandalous, sacrilegious, scurrilous content then click here Email Me.
Is it worth it? It is probably worth doing something but lets not get over excited by it all.